


Steps Away

by emynn



Series: Britin Song Drabble Challenge [16]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Cancer Arc, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emynn/pseuds/emynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian knows it’ll happen. But that doesn’t mean he has to look forward to it. It doesn’t mean he has to hasten its arrival.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steps Away

**Author's Note:**

> Another in the Britin Song Drabble Challenge, inspired by Jimmy Eat World's [Cautioners](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_zexICXyzw).

Brian watches as Justin practically dances around the loft, going off in his excitement about how  _Rage_ is going to be a huge Hollywood smash. He has his doubts about that – he doesn’t care what some big-time director says, there’s no fucking way any major studio is going to release a film where the superhero spends any time he’s not out saving the world fucking other men. 

But he’s not about to say any of that to Justin. He’s already anticipating the day it’s all going to come crashing down. He’s not about to hasten its arrival by being the one to tell him his dreams are unrealistic.

Brian rubs a hand down his face. He’s fucking exhausted. It takes every ounce of willpower to walk, to talk, to even nod his head. He’s beginning to wonder if he should have taken the doctor’s advice and stayed at the hospital for another few days. But he’d been so determined to prove he was Brian Kinney, the invincible.

He’d been so determined to get back to Justin and reassure him again that it wasn’t him.

He’d been so determined to see if Justin would live up to his word to be there when he got back.

Brian knows he won’t be able to keep this up for long. He knows he looks like shit. And Justin may be too wrapped up in his Hollywood dreams right now to notice, but he will. 

And then it’d begin. Justin would stick around for a while, but it wouldn’t last. Brian would watch his discomfort increase, watch guilt cloud his eyes as he thinks about leaving. He’d see Justin want an out but be afraid to take it. He’d see Justin take all these small steps away from him, until Brian turned around and suddenly he wasn’t there anymore. 

Brian wouldn’t blame him. And he knows, he  _knows_  it’ll happen. But that doesn’t mean he has to look forward to it. It doesn’t mean he has to hasten its arrival.

“Hey,” Justin says with a grin as he waves a hand in front of Brian’s face. “You there?”

Brian forces a smile on his face. “Yeah, sorry. Jet lag.”

Justin offers him a kiss full of sympathy. This one Brian allows.

And when Justin squeezes his hand, Brian squeezes back as tightly as he dares.


End file.
